I found one about my youngest son and his habit of collecting stuff—Simpson guys, Pez dispensers, to name a few. I even talked about him falling asleep with the Sears Wish Book open on his chest, dreaming of the toys he wanted and sometimes talked me into buying for him. I have no idea what I was trying to say; maybe something about not getting what we wish for, or wishing for the wrong things, I don’t know. But I’m sure it would have ended with God somehow. It always does you know.
Then I started a blog about my husband. It was pretty good and I don’t know why I didn’t finish it. Probably because I didn’t want to brag—yeah let’s go with that. He did something really special for me for Valentine’s Day, but I can’t tell you because it would be bragging. But it involved text messages from lots of people telling me how much he loved me, and also photo messages from him in various places carrying a sign that said “I love you.” What kind of guy would stand in Meijer’s produce section and ask a stranger to take his picture with his little sign? My guy. I should finish that one sometime.
Then I started to write one about the song “Red Solo Cup.” A friend of mine who can’t seem to stay sober for any length of time was singing this song one day. I told her that she should think of a new favorite song that might have a better influence on her life. I’m sure that I threw out some good churchy songs and she probably felt judged. The next day I was working on memorizing Psalm 16 and when I got to the verse, “the Lord is my chosen portion and my cup,” suddenly I found myself singing “Red Solo Cup.” Oo-ooh, now there was a blog just waiting to be written: God’s cup of joy versus the world’s fake cup of happiness. I never got anywhere with that one—let’s just say that even God thought it was a bad idea. Besides, the Gaithers' had already handled that. (Quietly humming, “fill my cup Lord, I lift it up Lord . . .”)
So I stopped writing because I kept getting stuck and couldn’t figure out why. In the meantime, I’ve been working on a “Faith-walking” course that I’m taking. It’s really heavy and I have lots of homework, including a daily “spiritual workout.” I committed to a lot of reading, prayer and solitude. I’m great at reading, so-so at prayer, but I kind of suck at solitude. I’m catching on though. If I read, follow that with prayer—gotta write those prayers down though—then when I’m done, I hear Him. Sometimes when I see the way yesterday’s prayers were answered I hear Him. Sometimes when I read another devotional and take a few notes, I hear His message coming through several times in one day. And if I pay attention or, as Frederick Buechner says, “listen to your life,” I hear God all day long. And when that happens, my heart is full . . . and yes, my cup is full too.
So when my friend Doug gently chided me about not posting a blog in many months, I felt compelled to tell him why. I told him that for some reason God was telling me to stop talking for a while. The world really doesn’t need to hear what I have to say right now. I believe that getting stuck in my writing is just another way God is speaking to me. I think He wants me to listen more and speak less and I guess I’m okay with that. And do you know what my friend’s response was? He said, “Sounds like the start of a blog post right there, one I'd enjoy reading!”
So, there’s the truth as I know it today. Someday maybe I’ll tell you more about my son’s nut cracker collection or about the last crazy wonderful 37 years with Ron, heck I might write new lyrics for “Red Solo Cup” that could be sung in church. Maybe . . .
